


Hands up if you’re feeling the vibe

by Luckiehyuckie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, I started this to help with my procrastination problem, M/M, MARKHYUCK AND YUWIN ARE SUPERIOR BOW DOWN, Rated teen for swearing, chatfic, clearly it didn’t work, other members are mentioned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2019-10-13 11:24:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17487218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luckiehyuckie/pseuds/Luckiehyuckie
Summary: Fullsun: Surprise bitchFullsun: I ate the last cookieBunny: You’re a demonTYtrack:You’re adoptedOsakaPrince: You’re deadChitaprrr: I’m gayLongAssRide: WHERE DID YOU COME FROM





	1. Doyoung is triggered

 

**Hoes and Jungwoo**

 

Bunny: @Winwinie<3 yuta has a folder of fansite pics of you

 

Winwinie<3: What else is new

 

OsakaPrince: WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU

 

Bunny: You used my fucking socks to remove ur makeup 

 

OsakaPrince: THAT WAS 3 FUCKING WEEKS AGO

 

Bunny: I never forget

 

JohnsBanana: Remember that one time someone at the last rainbow cookie and doyoung cried

 

Bunny: FIRST OF ALL I DIDNT CRY

 

JohnsBanana: Whatever u say twink

 

Bunny: SECOND OF ALL THOSE WERE GOOD COOKIES

 

Bunny: If I ever find that fucker that ate that cookie I will shove my foot so far up their ass shit will come out of their mouth

 

TYtrack: Is that profanity I hear

 

JohnsBanana: It’s a fucking chat

 

TYtrack: LANGUAGE

 

TYtrack: There is a child in this chat

 

OsakaPrince: You mean hyuck 

 

OsakaPrince: He probably knew how babies were made before mark

 

TYtrack: Prove it

 

OsakaPrince: @Fullsun

 

Fullsun: Wassup

 

TYtrack: You spend too much time with mark

 

Fullsun: :p

 

OsakaPrince: Who learned how babies were made first you or mark

 

Fullsun: Me ofc 

 

Fullsun: it’s not even because I’m unpure it’s because mark is fucking stupid

 

LongAssRide: HEY

 

JohnsBanana: lmao

 

Fullsun: he still believed in that stork shit

 

LongAssRide: there go ur cuddling privileges

 

Fullsun: noooooooo

 

LongAssRide: that’s right bitch

 

LongAssRide: I’m cuddling with nana tonight

 

Fullsun: Dont leave me at the 127 dorm

 

Fullsun: with these hoes

 

Bunny: who u calling a hoe

 

JohnsBanana: embrace it doyoung

 

Bunny: WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

 

Fullsun: I booked you out for Friday’s 

 

Fullsun: the cuddle calender tells no lies

 

TYtrack: the fucks a cuddle calender

 

JohnsBanana: LANGUAGE

 

Fullsun: it’s where we reserve cuddles

 

Fullsun: I reserved mark on all the weekdays, Saturday he’s with jeno jaemin and renjun then Sunday’s he’s with chenle and jisung

 

OsakaPrince: Someone’s stingy

 

Fullsun: Mark gives good cuddles :(

 

Fullsun: Plus it’s not like you’re attached to sicheng everywhere he goes

 

Winwinie<3: Touché

 

Junguwu: hey guys jaehyun kun and I just got back from the mall milkshakes are first come first serve

 

LongAssRide: Say no more

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This is my first fanfic I hope you enjoy! Sorry it’s a bit short and all over the place I’ll try to make some semblance of a plot in the coming chapters. Comments are much appreciated :)
> 
> Also just to spice it up a little I’ll be asking you guys questions after every chapter! Leave your answers in the comments
> 
> Question: Who’s y’alls NCT 127 bias?
> 
> Mine is Yuta :)


	2. Exposing hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeffrey: Also I can’t believe I missed exposing hour
> 
> Fullsun: who said it had to be over

**Hoes and Jungwoo**

 

Moon: I’ll never forgive you mark

 

LongAssRide: ur just salty

 

LongAssRide: like my milkshake ;)

 

Moon: ISNFVSJSVSJSKBDG

 

Winwinie<3: Wtf who puts salt in their milkshake you abominations

 

LongAssRide: it’s salted caramel

 

Moon: Which everyone knows is MY favourite flavour

 

LongAssRide: stop being dramatic it’s too early for this

 

Bunny: First of all

 

Bunny: it’s 3PM

 

Bunny: secondly

 

Bunny: ur dating hyuck aren’t you used to dramatics

 

LongAssRide: true

 

Fullsun: some of us are dramatic to cope

 

Fullsun: excuse us for not being as mentally stable as some people

 

Jeffrey: at least we got you guys milkshakes hoes be grateful

 

Jeffrey: Also I cant believe I missed exposing hour

 

Fullsun: who said it had to be over

 

TYtrack: nO

 

Fullsun: oh hello taeyong

 

Fullsun: remember that one time you cried after yaja time

 

TYtrack: bitch

 

TYtrack: Jaehyun you just had to set him off

 

TYtrack: I trusted you

 

Fullsun: jaehyun pours milk before cereal

 

TYtrack: never mind I’m in no way associated with jaehyun

 

JohnsBanana: dude what planet are you from

 

Jeffrey: I LIKE MY CEREAL CRUNCHY

 

Bunny: THAT CAN BE EASILY ACHIEVED WITHOUT BLASPHEMY

 

Junguwu: Hi guys!

 

Jeffrey: ITS NOT FUCKING BLASPHEMY I JUST WANT TO EAT MY FUCKING CEREAL

 

TYtrack: WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE

 

JohnsBanana: OH SAYS YOU BITCH

 

Junguwu: I suddenly regret everything 

 

LongAssRide: Same dude

 

Fullsun: Johnny has a Pinterest dedicated to parrots

 

JohnsBanana: mark your boyfriend is a little shit I can’t fathom what attraction you have towards him

 

Bunny: maybe because mark is a little shit himself

 

LongAssRide: bitch I know who ate the last cookie

 

Bunny: ...

 

Bunny: whoever stole the last fucking cookie better fucking confess 

 

Bunny: unless they want to be choked

 

Fullsun: ...

 

Fullsun: surprise bitch

 

Fullsun: I ate the last cookie

 

Bunny: you’re a demon

 

TYtrack: you’re adopted

 

OsakaPrince: you’re dead

 

Chitaprr: I’m gay

 

LongAssRide: WHERE DID YOU COME FROM

 

Chitaprr: jungwoo invited me over for milkshakes and I stole johnnys phone and added myself

 

Chitaprr: Surprise

 

JohnsBanana: you said you were playing tetris

 

JohnsBanana: I’ve been betrayed

 

Fullsun: what loser plays tetris anymore

 

LongAssRide: I do enjoy a nice game of tetris 

 

Fullsun: that’s because you’re old

 

LongAssRide: bitch if you weren’t here I’d be maknae

 

Chitaprr: is this what lovers quarrel is like

 

@Fullsun removed @Chitaprr from the chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments of what you would like to see in future chapters! As for updates, I’ll try to update anytime I can, at least twice a week. Also I live in Canada so flavour is spelt with a u in case anyone was wondering
> 
> Question: What song got you to stan NCT?
> 
> Mine is We go up by NCT dream (a whole bop)


	3. Mom of the year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OsakaPrince: winwin wbu
> 
> Winwinie<3: I vote kun
> 
> TYtrack: HES NOT EVEN IN THIS GROUP
> 
> Winwinie<3: whoever can handle yangyang plus yukhei plus and indefinite amount of sugar has my respect
> 
> OsakaPrince: Damn
> 
> OsakaPrince: I vote kun too then

**Hoes and Jungwoo**

 

TYtrack: What do y’all want for dinner

 

TYtrack: I have 30 dollars and a gradually decreasing will to live

 

Fullsun: I want Korean bbq

 

TYtrack: bitch that’s a hell of a lot more than 30 dollars

 

Fullsun: well how much is your will to live worth then

 

LongAssRide: HYUCK

 

OsakaPrince: takoyakiiiiiiiiiii

 

TYtrack: no

 

JohnsBanana: ramyun

 

TYtrack: johnny we had ramyun yesterday

 

TYtrack: and the day before that

 

TYtrack: and the day before that too

 

JohnsBanana: your point

 

TYtrack: NO

 

Jeffrey: milk

 

TYtrack: you need an intervention

 

Fullsun: what kind of mom refuses all the food their kids like

 

TYtrack: I’m trying to get us to live to at least 30

 

Bunny: we’re all gonna die anyways

 

TYtrack: DOYOUNG

 

TYtrack: godammit just PICK SOMETHING

 

Fullsun: You’re no fun

 

Fullsun: I say we vote on a new dorm mom

 

Fullsun: nominations begin now

 

TYtrack: what the fuck did I do to deserve this disrespect

 

JohnsBanana: I nominate me

 

LongAssRide: I unominate you

 

JohnsBanana: :(

 

JohnsBanana: how could you betray me like this

 

JohnsBanana: my best friend

 

JohnsBanana: my english bro

 

JohnsBanana: my fellow foreign swagger

 

LongAssRide: jesus fuck stop with the DRAMATICS

 

Junguwu: I nominate doyoung 

 

LongAssRide: seconded

 

Bunny: thirded 

 

OsakaPrince: how bout winwinie 

 

OsakaPrince: everyone loves him anyways

 

Winwinie<3: hell no

 

Winwinie<3: I don’t want to be responsible for you shitheads

 

OsakaPrince: wow thanks baby

 

Jeffrey: what about taeil 

 

Jeffrey: since he’s the oldest anyways

 

Moon: well

 

Moon: I mean I’ve babysat before

 

Moon: basically the same thing?

 

LongAssRide: I feel offended but I don’t know why 

 

Fullsun: okay! nominations are over

 

Fullsun: let’s vote!

 

Fullsun: all for taeyong?

 

Jeffrey: me

 

JohnsBanana: me

 

Fullsun: all for doyoung? 

 

LongAssRide: me

 

Junguwu: me

 

Fullsun: all for taeil? 

 

OsakaPrince: me

 

Fullsun: me

 

Fullsun: godammit why are there an even number of votes 

 

OsakaPrince: because someone didn’t vote

 

OsakaPrince: winwin wbu

 

Winwinie<3: I vote kun

 

TYtrack: HES NOT EVEN IN THIS GROUP

 

Winwinie<3: whoever can handle yangyang plus yukhei plus and indefinite amount of sugar has my respect

 

OsakaPrince: Damn

 

OsakaPrince: I vote kun too then

 

OsakaPrince: sorry taeil

 

Moon: I didn’t really care lol

 

Bunny: well I do!

 

Bunny: I am prepared to fight for the spot of dorm mom

 

Bunny: hear that taeyongie

 

Bunny: fite me

 

JohnsBanana: oooh is this drama I smell

 

JohnsBanana: taeyong what do you have to say to that

 

TYtrack: what the fucking fuck did I do to deserve this all I wanted was to get you ungrateful shits some dinner what the fuck happened

 

JohnsBanana: well sorry sis

 

JohnsBanana: but if we had just had ramyun none of this would have happened 

 

TYtrack: ISTG

 

OsakaPrince: TAKOYAKIII

 

Fullsun: KOREAN BBQ

 

Jeffrey: MILK

 

LongAssRide: YOU KNOW WHAT

 

LongAssRide: I’ll cook

 

Fullsun: NO

 

JohnsBanana: NO

 

Jeffrey: NO

 

TYtrack: NO

 

Winwinie<3: NO

 

OsakaPrince: NO

 

Bunny: NO

 

Moon: NO

 

Junguwu: NO

 

LongAssRide: smfh 

 

LongAssRide: now I know how taeyong feels

 

TYtrack: oh no honey

 

TYtrack: this is nothing CLOSE to how I feel

 

Junguwu: well then what are we gonna have for dinner?

 

TYtrack: ...

 

TYtrack: *sigh

 

TYtrack: get in the car we’re going to the ramyun place

 

JohnsBanana: YES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably shouldn’t have started this fix so close to exams rip. I’ll try to update when I can
> 
> Question: what’s your favourite NCT era?
> 
> Mine is probably boss or touch


	4. Weeb communion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fullsun: I mean it was a shitty carpet anyways
> 
> Fullsun: sao is way better
> 
> LongAssRide: JAEMIN THREW UP ON THE NARUTO CARPET
> 
> LongAssRide: I BOUGHT THAT CARPET

**Hoes and Jungwoo**

 

Fullsun: morning bitches

 

Junguwu: :(

 

Fullsun: and Jungwoo

 

Junguwu: :)

 

Jeffrey: what do you want hyuck

 

Fullsun: I am here to make a bargain

 

Fullsun: if anyone is willing to do me a favour

 

JohnsBanana: I’m out

 

Fullsun: you haven’t even heard me out yet!

 

Fullsun: this is not only for my benefit

 

Fullsun: but for the benefit of an entire unit

 

LongAssRide: whatever you did at the dreamie dorm it better have not been in my room

 

Fullsun: so me jaemin and renjun

 

TYtrack: *jaemin, renjun and I 

 

Fullsun: fuck off

 

Fullsun: anyways we were having anime night

 

Fullsun: and I brought chocolate milk

 

OsakaPrince: I already know what happened

 

TYtrack: why did you bring chocolate milk if you know jaemin is lactose intolerant?

 

Winwinie<3: even if he wasn’t lactose I’d still be concerned

 

Winwinie<3: that kid is a fucking addict

 

Winwinie<3: also why didn’t you invite me and yuta I’m offended

 

Fullsun: there’s only so much space

 

Fullsun: plus then mark would know we were using his laptop for netflix

 

LongAssRide: you little shits

 

LongAssRide: how much did he drink

 

Fullsun: 8 bottles 

 

TYtrack: WHAT THE FUCK

 

Bunny: you have got to be fucking kidding

 

Fullsun: nope

 

Fullsun: so when we woke up about an hour ago he said his stomach hurt a lot

 

LongAssRide: did he make it to the bathroom fast enough

 

Fullsun: unfourtunatly no

 

Fullsun: theres also the issue that he’s still in the washroom and hasn’t come out

 

Bunny: serves him right

 

Bunny: fucking idiot

 

Jeffrey: wait donghyuck what was the favour you wanted 

 

Fullsun: does anyone know how to get vomit out of the carpet?

 

LongAssRide: are you fucking kidding me

 

Fullsun: I mean it was a shitty carpet anyways

 

Fullsun: sao is way better

 

LongAssRide: JAEMIN THREW UP ON THE NARUTO CARPET

 

LongAssRide: I BOUGHT THAT CARPET

 

Winwinie<3: have to agree with hyuck on this one

 

Winwinie<3: naruto is so basic

 

OsakaPrince: chengie how could you

 

OsakaPrince: naruto is so much better???

 

LongAssRide: yea sao is trash

 

Fullsun: GASP

 

Winwinie<3: SAY THAT TO MY FACE DICKHEAD

 

Fullsun: if I wasn’t dating you I would literally wring your neck

 

LongAssRide: the only reason you watch it in the first place is because I was watching it and then you came in and said you would bang kirito

 

Fullsun: and?

 

OsakaPrince: that’s the only reason people watch it

 

Winwinie<3: I’m breaking up with you

 

OsakaPrince: NO IM SORRY BABY

 

JohnsBanana: w h i p p e d

 

TYtrack: hey sorry to interrupt the anime discourse but CALM THE FUCK DOWN 

 

JohnsBanana: okay but we can all agree haikyuu is the superior anime right?

 

LongAssRide: yes

 

Winwinie<3: damn right

 

Junguwu: no

 

OsakaPrince: ???

 

Junguwu: my hero academia for the win

 

Fullsun: valid

 

OsakaPrince: I’ve only finished season one but can I just say that todoroki shoto is one hot motherfucker

 

Winwinie<3: seconded 

 

JohnsBanana: thirded

 

Jeffrey: sorry to interrupt the weeb communion but I think you should do something about that carpet pretty soon

 

Jeffrey: if not it’s gonna smell like shit

 

Fullsun: imma just throw it out

 

LongAssRide: nooooooo

 

Bunny: just toss it in jenos room

 

Bunny: it already smells like shit anyways nobody will notice

 

LongAssRide: true

 

JohnsBanana: lol rip jeno

 

TYtrack: Jesus fuck just throw the damn carpet out

 

LongAssRide: no

 

TYtrack: MARK

 

LongAssRide: mmmmmmmmmm

 

LongAssRide: fine

 

Fullsun: by the way nana finally came out of the washroom and he says sao is way better too

 

OsakaPrince: fucking choke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I posted a new chapter a couple days ago but forgot the change the date :p
> 
> Also I watched the burn the stage love yourself in Seoul movie yesterday and it was liiiiiit
> 
> SORRY BUT MY HERO ACADEMIA IS THE SUPERIOR ANIME I DONT MAKE THE RULES
> 
> Question: what’s your favourite NCT unit? 
> 
> Mine is dream :)


	5. Featuring: drunk taeyong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bunny: our dorm better be sparkling
> 
> Fullsun: sparkling with my tears
> 
> OsakaPrince: Sparkling with the scent of a FRESH SWIFFER
> 
> Winwinie<3: what the fuck is wrong with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A friend of mine told me she wanted more soft moments not just them going at each other’s throats every five seconds but clearly I got sidetracked lol

**Hoes and Jungwoo**

 

TYtrack: awesome job performing today guys!

 

Junguwu: :)

 

Moon: :)

 

OsakaPrince: :)

 

Jeffrey: :)

 

LongAssRide: thanks

 

JohnsBanana: bITCH

 

Fullsun: YOU BROKE THE CHAIN

 

LongAssRide: WELL GUES WHAT

 

LongAssRide: I DONT GIVE A FUCK

 

TYtrack: can i not congratulate you guys without having you going haywire jesus christ

 

OsakaPrince: you called?

 

Winwinie<3: disappointed but not surprised

 

Moon: sometimes I wonder why you guys are dating

 

Moon: then I look around our dorm and see lucas has a pen stuck in his hair

 

Moon: renjun is choking jeno

 

Moon: taeyong is crying over some kdrama 

 

Moon: and I go fuck it

 

JohnsBanana: LMAO

 

TYtrack: I’ve been shot

 

TYtrack: I was about to give y’all good news but I guess not

 

Bunny: if it’s a new shipment of skincare products

 

Bunny: I didn’t want to be the one to say this

 

Bunny: but no one fucking cares 

 

TYtrack: ITS NOT SKINCARE PRODUCTS

 

JohnsBanana: THEN WHAT IS IT

 

TYtrack: guess

 

LongAssRide: we’re not toddlers jesus just tell us

 

TYtrack: fine

 

TYtrack: the manager said we could go out for Korean bbq

 

Fullsun: YE BOIS

 

TYtrack: smh

 

* * *

 

Jeffrey: Hyuck, Mark are you guys alright?

 

LongAssRide: yeah we just have a dance practice for dream tomorrow so we decided to leave a little early to get some more sleep :)

 

Jeffrey: no problem :) you guys deserve it after working so hard!

 

TYtrack: you sure do!

 

TYtrack: love you guissssssss

 

TYtrack: mwah

 

Fullsun: dude are you okay

 

TYtrack: hyuckieeeeee

 

TYtrack: I still remember when you were so smol and let me squish your cute cheeks <3

 

Fullsun: bitch did you eat a tide pod or something

 

JohnsBanana: lollll

 

Bunny: I told you

 

Bunny: I fucking told you you shouldn’t have ordered soju after markhyuck left

 

Bunny: now look what you’ve done

 

OsakaPrince: dibs on not being in the same van as him on the way home

 

Winwinie<3: I’m with yuta

 

Winwinie<3: god knows how long it’ll be before he starts sobbing

 

Moon: don’t remind me

 

LongAssRide: I’m half relieved and half concerned

 

Fullsun: I’m half relieved and half relieved lol good luck trying to control taeyong

 

JohnsBanana: you snek 

 

JohnsBanana: I’m standing in the fucking freezing cold

 

JohnsBanana: the managers giving us dirty looks

 

JohnsBanana: theres a soju stain on my good jacket

 

JohnsBanana: carrying our flatout drunk leader back to our dorms

 

JohnsBanana: while you’re probably cuddling with mark watching anime

 

Fullsun: oh that’s so sad alexa play chewing gum

 

Bunny: I’ll tell taeyong to put you on cleaning duty

 

Fullsun: nooooooo

 

Bunny: that’s right bitch

 

Bunny: our dorm better be sparkling

 

Fullsun: sparkling with my tears

 

OsakaPrince: sparkling with the scent of a FRESH SWIFFER

 

Winwinie<3: what the fuck is wrong with you

 

Jeffrey: shit shit shit

 

Moon: what happened now 

 

Jeffrey: so you know how Johnny and I were carrying taeyong back to the van

 

Jeffrey: his phone fell out of his pocket

 

Jeffrey: and there was this sort of cracking sound??

 

LongAssRide: shit how bad is it

 

JohnsBanana: we don’t know we’re too scared to pick it up

 

Winwinie<3: pussy 

 

JohnsBanana: bitch you have no right to be calling anyone a pussy

 

JohnsBanana: quit making out with yuta and come carry this fucking bag of bones back to the van

 

Junguwu: I’ll have you guys know that he is, in fact, not making out

 

Jeffrey: what’s he doing then

 

Junguwu: having contest with yuta and taeil to see who can stuff the most wraps in their mouths

 

Fullsun: ew glad I left

 

Junguwu: it’s actually quite entertaining

 

Junguwu: never mind take that back taeil is choking

 

Junguwu: brb

 

LongAssRide: how the fuck are you guys still alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let’s pretend mark didn’t graduate from dream yet rip :,( 
> 
> Also I apologize for not including much jungwoo content I’ll work on that in future chapters :)
> 
> Happy birthday to our favourite bunny Kim Dongyoung <3
> 
> Question: what’s your favourite group (other than NCT)?
> 
> Oh boy, mine would have to be either B.A.P or I.O.I which sucks because both fandoms are pretty much in drought atm :(
> 
> (Still waiting for that ioi reunion tho)


	6. We love and appreciate Jungwoo in this household

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeffrey: I never thought I’d see the day where Sicheng cries over a giant marshmallow
> 
> Winwinie<3: bITCH HE ISNT A MARSHMALLOW

**Hoes and Jungwoo**

 

Junguwu: :,(

 

Moon: nooo sweetie don’t be sad you know you’re wonderful and fabulous and everybody loves you

 

Bunny: damn right

 

Bunny: if they do that again I’ll punt them into the fucking sun

 

TYtrack: what happened???

 

Bunny: these fucking twinks 

 

Bunny: thought it would be okay to make fun of jungwoo 

 

LongAssRide: but there isn’t even anything to make fun of???

 

Bunny: exactly

 

Bunny: but apparently they saw how nervous he was at his debut

 

Bunny: and thought it’d be funny to tease him about it

 

OsakaPrince: I’ll throw him into the sun with you

 

Winwinie<3: I’ll get xuxi to beat them up

 

Winwinie<3: he’s a fucking giant

 

Junguwu: no it’s fine guys

 

Junguwu: I’m okay

 

Junguwu: plus xuxi is too soft to beat anyone up

 

JohnsBanana: that doesn’t make it okay

 

JohnsBanana: >:(

 

JohnsBanana: you guys should tell manager-nim 

 

JohnsBanana: he’ll put them in their places

 

Moon: we did

 

Moon: he said he’d deal with them 

 

Jeffrey: he better

 

Jeffrey: no one fucking insults our Jungwoo and gets away with it

 

Junguwu: thanks guys :)

 

Junguwu: this means a lot 

 

Junguwu: really

 

Fullsun: next time tell us as soon as it happens

 

Fullsun: we will have the canon ready to launch them straight into the sun 

 

Junguwu: that’s.. really not necessary but thanks anyways :)

 

TYtrack: I say we have a movie night

 

TYtrack: my treat :)

 

Junguwu: it’s okay, you really don’t have to do that 

 

Moon: well we want to so you’re coming like it or not 

 

JohnsBanana: I’ll bring popcorn! 

 

Jeffrey: I’ll bring ice cream

 

Fullsun: I’ll bring blankets so we can all build a fort together

 

LongAssRide: how are we all gonna fit in one room?

 

OsakaPrince: we’ll make it happen ;)

* * *

Junguwu: listen guys

 

Junguwu: I love you all

 

Junguwu: I really do

 

Junguwu: but next time could we have movie night in a bigger room?

 

Jeffrey: I second that

 

Jeffrey: this morning I woke up with someone’s foot in my mouth and let me just say

 

Jeffrey: I could’ve lived without knowing what that felt like

 

Bunny: who’s fucking idea was it to have 10 grown men crammed onto 2 twin beds watching big hero six on johnnys shitty laptop

 

JohnsBanana: first of all my laptop is offended at the implication that it is shitty

 

JohnsBanana: second of all I’m the only one the has Netflix ungrateful bitches

 

Fullsun: mark has netflix

 

LongAssRide: which I never fucking use because you’re always mooching off it

 

Fullsun: love you too

 

Moon: hyuck you were literally lying on top of everyone like an extremely hyperactive emotional screechy starfish

 

Moon: also you hogged all the blankets

 

Fullsun: fuck you man you cried too when tadashi died

 

Moon: yeah I cried a little I didn’t let out these unholy gasping shriek sobs and kick several people off the bed

 

JohnsBanana: I was one of those unfourtunate people

 

JohnsBanana: the floor always feels harder when you don’t expect to hit it 

 

OsakaPrince: I woke up with a blob of ice cream the size of an infant melting on my leg and it was

 

OsakaPrince: displeasing to say the least

 

Bunny: lol that was me sorry

 

OsakaPrince: HOW COULD YOU

 

TYtrack: the takeaway is we’re having movie nights in the living room from now on

 

TYtrack: I was just showering and popcorn cane out of my hair when I rinsed it

 

TYtrack: as if my scalp needs to be more damaged then it already is

 

Junguwu: I mean the movie was at least good

 

Bunny: that’s because you chose it

 

Junguwu: well yeah

 

Junguwu: but you all still enjoyed it

 

Jeffrey: I’ll just say

 

Jeffrey: I never thought I’d see the day where Sicheng cries over a giant marshmallow 

 

Winwinie<3: bITCH HE ISNT A MARSHMALLOW

 

Winwinie<3: HE HAS FUCKING FEELINGS

 

Fullsun: I’ll be honest too I never thought winwin could feel that strongly about a fictional character

 

Winwinie<3: FUCK YOU

 

OsakaPrince: And this kids

 

OsakaPrince: is what happens when you watch too much buzzfeed unsolved

 

OsakaPrince: it weakens your walls

 

OsakaPrince: makes you emotionally vulnerable 

 

JohnsBanana: is that the reason for the screams I hear sometimes in the middle of the night

 

Winwinue<3: I hate you all

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to add a sprinkle of angst. Im sorry for picking on jungwoo I felt bad after I proofread it but I wanna keep adding little bits of angst here and there to spice things up a bit. Don’t worry! This’ll still be a majority crack fic :)
> 
> Winwin is actually me. I love buzzfeed unsolved but every time I watch it that night my weak ass thinks there are ghosts living in the walls.
> 
> Question: if you could create your own NCT unit with members of your choosing, who would they be, what would the unit be called, and what would be their concept?
> 
> I would probably create an NCT DANCE consisting of Taeyong, Yuta, Ten, Winwin, Jeno, YangYang and Jisung. Their concept would be dark and powerful, like nct dreams “go”


	7. Romeo and Juliet? I only know yuta and winwin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bunny: for Valentine’s Day Sicheng should get yuta those plastic flowers
> 
> OsakaPrince: why plastic flowers?
> 
> Winwinie<3: because they’re fake like you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I wrote this chapter meaning for it to come after chapter 5 but I finished chapter 6 first whoops :p sorry if it was a bit confusing!

* * *

**Hoes and Jungwoo**

 

Jeffrey: I would just like to inform everyone

 

Jeffrey: and this is Taeyong by the way

 

Jeffrey: that my phone is broken

 

JohnsBanana: rip 

 

OsakaPrince: rip in the chaaaat

 

Fullsun: oh that’s so sad Alexa play regular Chinese ver

 

Jeffrey: I hate you all

 

LongAssRide: hey at least you’re not going to get 800 notifications a day about how lettuce feels when it comes out of your nose

 

Winwinie<3: wtf ew

 

Moon: THAT FUCKING HURT LIKE A BITCH

 

LongAssRide: WELL MAYBE IF YALL HAD SOME FUCKING BRAIN CELLS YOU WOULDNT HAVE HAD A FUCKING WRAP EATING CONTEST

 

OsakaPrince: RIP IN THE CHAAAT

 

Winwinie<3: fucking sTOp

 

Winwinie<3: also you owe me and Jungwoo 10 dollars

 

OsakaPrince: why?

 

Winwinie<3: why

 

Winwinie<3: WHY?

 

Moon: shit yuta run

 

Winwinie<3: YOU FORGOT TO WATER OUR FLOWERS

 

Winwinie<3: WE RAISED THOSE FLOWERS

 

Winwinie<3: NOW THEYRE DEAD

 

Junguwu: :(

 

Moon: like my soul

 

Bunny: for Valentine’s Day Sicheng should get Yuta those plastic flowers

 

OsakaPrince: why plastic?

 

Winwinie<3: because they’re fake like you

 

Fullsun: DAMN

 

OsakaPrince: NURSE

 

OsakaPrince: IVE BEEN SHOT

 

Bunny: I was gonna say because he didn’t have to water them

 

Bunny: but that works too

 

OsakaPrince: this is discrimination 

 

Junguwu: how are you guys even dating

 

Junguwu: like I’m genuinely curious

 

Moon: oh boy

 

OsakaPrince: nO

 

Winwinie<3: taeil istg dont you dare tell them

 

JohnsBanana: ooooooooooo

 

Fullsun: spill the tea sis

 

OsakaPrince: taeil please

 

OsakaPrince: I’m begging you

 

Moon: no

 

Moon: this is karma for the wrap eating contest

 

OsakaPrince: YOU AGREED TO THAT

 

Moon: I WAS DRUNK

 

Moon: YALL WERENT

 

Winwinie<3: I’ll burn your pokemon card stash

 

Moon: bold of you to assume id leave them at the dorm

 

Bunny: I....

 

Bunny: I can’t stand you

 

Moon: back to the story at hand

 

OsakaPrince: NOOOOOOOO

 

Winwinie<3: bye I’m jumping off a cliff

 

Winwinie<3: I’m taking the rilakkuma plushie with me

 

Moon: fuck

 

Moon: oh well

 

Moon: sacrifices need to be made

 

JohnsBanana: Jesus Christ just TELL US

 

Moon: so on one fine sunday morning...

 

TYtrack: YALL

 

TYtrack: I GOT A NEW PHONE

 

Fullsun: WTF TAEYONG

 

LongAssRide: didn’t it just stop working?

 

TYtrack: I texted my sister about it last night since she started her new job at apple a couple days ago

 

TYtracks: so ten minutes ago she stopped by my dorm and said I could use her old phone since it wasn’t apple and her company didn’t like that lol

 

TYtrack: also the manager stopped by he says we have a dance practice so phones away yall 

 

Junguwu: okay mom

 

Fullsun: noooooo taeil was about the tell us the how-yuwin-got-together story

 

Winwinie<3: suck it

 

Moon: oh don’t worry honey

 

Moon: there’s still many days after this to tell that iconic story ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a short chapter sorry. I’ll try to make up for it with the next chapter tho :)
> 
> I was inspired to write this chapter today when I was supposed to be doing my history essay but instead ended up scrolling through all my nct memes I have saved on Pinterest lol save me
> 
> Don’t worry I’m cooking up the how-yuwin-got-together story for next chapter ;)
> 
> Question: Top 5 favourite NCT bside tracks?
> 
> I put top 5 because I have so manyyyy lol. In no particular order:
> 
> 1\. Run back 2 u  
> 2\. My Page  
> 3\. Summer 127  
> 4\. Dear dream  
> 5\. Without you
> 
> Okay yo that probably took longer than writing the fic theyre all good lol I tried


	8. Listen boy, my first love story..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bunny: I have begun to suspect this group is addicted to ramen
> 
> JohnsBanana: yup
> 
> JohnBanana: snort beef powder, pee beef broth, poo ramen noodles
> 
> JohnsBanana: that’s my motto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINALLY GOT UP OFF MY ASS TO WRITE THIS CHAPTER A THOUSAND APOLOGIES GUYS HOPE YOU ENJOY THE UNPROOFREAD VERSION OF YUWIN
> 
> (Updated as of April 29, 2019)

**Hoes and Jungwoo**

 

Junguwu: our dance practice is over

 

Junguwu: taeyong has a working phone

 

Junguwu: now can you pLEASE tell us the yuwin story

 

Moon: my nose is still traumatized from the lettuce

 

Fullsun: STFU JUST TELL US

 

Moon: so it was when we were still trainees

 

Moon: I was dropping yuta off

 

LongAssRide: damn you had your liscence back then?

 

LongAssRide: you were old even back then

 

Moon: choke

 

Moon: anyways

 

Moon: plot twist no. 1

 

Bunny: wtf are you in third grade

 

Moon: it was Sicheng who liked yuta first

 

JohnsBanana: HWAT

 

Junguwu: really?!

 

Winwinie<3: at least I’ll die doing what I love most

 

OsakaPrince: what’s that?

 

Winwinie<3: dying

 

Moon: plot twist no. 2

 

Moon: this also happens to be the story of how winwin got penny

 

Jeffrey: oooooh I remember now!

 

Jeffrey: yeah Sicheng was obsessed with yuta after he got penny

 

Moon: I know right?

 

Fullsun: well I hate to break it to you but not all of us know WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

 

Moon: Jesus okay

 

Fullsun: Actually, it’s just me

 

Fullsun: although I’ve been told the resemblance is startling

 

JohnsBanana: do you ever sHUT UP

 

Fullsun: no

 

OsakaPrince: I’ll handle the story from here

 

OsakaPrince: winko and I first met in a pet shop

 

OsakaPrince: he had just come to korea

 

OsakaPrince: I was helping out at the shop since I had nothing better to do

 

Moon: I thought it was because you got in trouble from stealing sandwiches from the cafeteria

 

OsakaPrince: same thing

 

OsakaPrince: anyways I was grooming this dog when Sicheng came in

 

OsakaPrince: and he immediately fell in love with the dog I was grooming

 

OsakaPrince: and he’d come back every single day to play with penny

 

TYtrack: why the name?

 

OsakaPrince: because she had this silky copper fur and was t i n y

 

OsakaPrince: like a penny i guess

 

Winwinie<3: she also kinda sounds like a penny when you drop her

 

OsakaPrince: YOU DROPPED OUR ANGEL

 

LongAssRide: aww “our angel”

 

LongAssRide: how domestic

 

Winwinie<3: LISTEN SHE WANTED MY RAMEN

 

Winwinie<3: AND I WANTED MY RAMEN

 

Bunny: i have begun to suspect this group is addicted to ramen

 

JohnsBanana: yup

 

JohnsBanana: snort beef powder, pee beef broth, poo ramen noodles

 

JohnsBanana: that’s my motto

 

TYtrack: i am deeply concerned

 

Jeffrey: me too

 

TYtrack: do you actually live like this

 

Jeffrey: do you actually like beef flavour

 

Jeffrey: ...

 

TYtrack: now I’m even more concerned

 

Moon: maybe that’s why you couldn’t afford penny

 

Moon: you spent all your money on fucking ramen

 

Junguwu: wait he couldn’t afford her?

 

Junguwu: aw that’s so sad :(

 

OsakaPrince: see that’s where i come in

 

OsakaPrince: he came so often so i finally asked him why he didnt just get him

 

OsakaPrince: and he said he couldn’t afford him

 

Winwinie<3: listen i value my reputation as an anime collector

 

Winwinie<3: although i fucking regret getting those boruto volumes instead of her

 

OsakaPrince: so i bought her for him

 

Fullsun: awwwwwwwwww

 

Junguwu: uwuwuwuwuwuwwuuwuwuwuwuwu

 

Junguwu: <3<<<<33333<33<<<<3333<33

 

Junguwu: that’s so cutteeeeeejsvusvdudgvjvfgvsdk

 

Moon: i think you broke Jungwoo

 

Junguwu: THATS SO SWEET YUTA I LOVE YOU I LOVE LOVE

 

Winwinie<3: yo back off

 

Moon: i went with Yuta to drop penny off

 

Moon: you should’ve seen the way Sichengs eyes s p a r k l e d when he opened the door

 

Moon: of course yuta was too fucking dense to notice

 

OsakaPrince: hey

 

Fullsun: that was the most lifeless hey I’ve ever seen

 

Fullsun: you’re a dumbass and you know it

 

OsakaPrince: fuck you

 

JohnsBanana: he has mark to do that

 

LongAssRide: aikbwf927t36rg2ub3 ruojl2v#@R&)EDBELBFUWOY#38268iFsdhdfhdfe4#%$#fgs

 

TYtrack: JOHNNY 

 

TYtrack: THEY ARE C H I L D R E N

 

JohnsBanana: speaking of which

 

JohnsBanana: have yuwin whacked it yet

 

Jeffrey: you really have no filter do you

 

OsakaPrince: we have

 

Jeffrey: aaaand neither do you

 

Bunny: so who asked who out in the end

 

Moon: ooooooooooh boy

 

Winwinie<3: let me live plz

 

Winwinie<3: I’m begging you

 

Moon: sicheng was too much of a pussy to ask yuta out so i told yuta to ask him out because by that time yuta liked him too but was too stupid to realize sicheng was gay

 

Moon: “He’s close with stylist noona maybe he likes her” my ass

 

Bunny: wait yuta you actually fucking said that

 

Bunny: you fucking dumbass I’m crying

 

OsakaPrince: well i got the guy at the end so who’s the real winner huh

 

Jeffrey: whoa alpha-supreme

 

Jeffrey: tone down the testosterone

 

TYtrack: wait so who finally asked who

 

Moon: omg it was yuta

 

Moon: and it was the cutest cheesiest shit ever

 

OsakaPrince: plz let me live

 

Moon: okay so you know those Pinterest things where they find the confession page in a romance novel and then cut a hole in the pages and put a ring in it to propose

 

Jeffrey: YUTA DID THAT?

 

OsakaPrince: PLEASE SOTP

 

Moon: except it was in one of those shitty gay mangas Sicheng likes so much

 

Moon: and it was a ring pop

 

Moon: so after he was done beating yuta with a broom for ruining his book

 

Moon: he accepted

 

Moon: and that’s the story of how yuwin was born

 

LongAssRide: how did you know all of that?

 

OsakaPrince: once we made it official I called my older sister and told her about the whole story

 

OsakaPrince: literally the first thing she said was “I can’t believe you dumb bitches got together over a dog lol”

 

JohnsBanana: can I marry your sister

 

OsakaPrince: no she has a fiancee 

 

OsakaPrince: who is apparently family friends with taeils mom or smth so when they got together for the holidays they both exposed me :(

 

TYtrack: aw so it’s like you two are related in a weird extended way

 

Junguwu: wanna know something even more soft

 

Junguwu: yuta got winwin Figure for their 1 year anniversary!

 

Winwinie<3: yuta wanted another dog but i thought it’d be too much responsibility but Taeil was on board with it too so i said go ahead

 

Winwinie<3: then they came home with that little tornado

 

Moon: you love her though

 

Winwinie<3: hell yeah i do

 

OsakaPrince: Its like if you put the devils soul into the most adorable thing on earth

 

LongAssRide: sounds like Donghyuck

 

Fullsun: i dont know whether to be insulted or flattered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really sorry I haven’t been updating as much :( I don’t really have any valid excuses other than school and txt but I’m on spring break for a week so I’ll try to stock up on chapters!
> 
> Also whoops I have no idea what Sichengs dogs look like I just know their names sorry :p
> 
> (Whoever understood that mortal instruments reference ily)
> 
> Question: What albums do you own? If you could get any album which one would you get?
> 
> The only album I own is the “we go up album” i got it as an excuse to listen to drippin religiously in my moms car lol
> 
> If I could buy an album I’d probably get love yourself:answer since it’s basically all the love yourself albums condensed into one


	9. Taeyongs ass (or lack thereof)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moon: are you jealous
> 
> TYtrack: why would i be jealous
> 
> Moon: ...honey
> 
> Moon: i dont know how to tell you this but
> 
> JohnsBanana: you literally have no ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was inspired to write this because it’s depressingly cold and rainy where I live :( Also I added some new tags which explains a lot.

**Hoes and Jungwoo**

 

TYtrack: i got the email for the location of our next photo shoot!

 

Bunny: where?

 

TYtrack: the beach!

 

Fullsun: LETS GET IT

 

Fullsun: i was practically raised in the sun

 

JohnsBanana: that’s probably why you’re so

 

LongAssRide: pretty

 

JohnsBanana: crispy

 

Fullsun: the fucks that supposed to mean

 

JohnsBanana: oh sorry autocorrect lol i meant tan

 

Fullsun: how does tan autocorrect to crispy??

 

Moon: it doesnt

 

Fullsun: i demand an explanation

 

JohnsBanana: well i demand a refund

 

Fullsun: ?????????

 

OsakaPrince: the more you type the more confused i get

 

JohnsBanana: oh look

 

JohnsBanana: another witness

 

LongAssRide: witness?

 

Winwinie<3: taeil what’s happening

 

Moon: yuta you were there

 

Moon: last thursday

 

OsakaPrince: oh my fucking god johnny

 

OsakaPrince: just let it go

 

Junguwu: oooooooooh

 

Junguwu: now i know what’s happening

 

Fullsun: i dont?

 

Fullsun: what happened Thursday?

 

JohnsBanana: you dont even remember the suffering you cause me you

 

JohnsBanana: you

 

JohnsBanana: boiled dorito

 

Fullsun: if boiled dorito was the best insult you could come up with I’m glad i caused you suffering

 

OsakaPrince: same here next time take care of your own fucking chicken if you care about it that much

 

LongAssRide: chicken?

 

Fullsun: OOOOOOOHHH

 

Fullsun: that’s why you had a stick up your ass?

 

Fullsun: because i ate your CHICKEN?

 

JohnsBanana: I BOUGHT THAT CHICKEN WITH MY OWN WAGES

 

Bunny: pfffft what wages

 

JohnsBanana: i was trying to make a point 

 

TYtrack: for your information that was our managers card

 

TYtrack: who you woke up with your chicken induced scream sobbing last night

 

TYtrack: who is also considering giving us the rest of the day at the beach when we’re done our photoshoot 

 

TYtrack: play nice boys

 

Jeffrey: oh worm?

 

Jeffrey: seventeen are going there too!

 

Bunny: How do you know?

 

Jeffrey: 97 line groupchat 

 

Winwinie<3: oh that groupchat

 

Winwinie<3: the one I’m NOT IN

 

Jeffrey: we decided that the decision had to be unanimous

 

Jeffrey: pretty much everyone voted to let you in

 

Winwinie<3: who didnt?

 

Jeffrey: jungkook

 

Jeffrey: not because he doesn’t like you

 

Jeffrey: but I’m pretty sure he muted the chat he’s literally never on

 

Bunny: damn that’s a good idea

 

Junguwu: DOYOUNG

 

TYtrack: you know seungkwan from seventeen

 

Jeffrey: ye

 

Junguwu: the one with the really nice ass?

 

Moon: wHeEZe

 

TYtrack: I WAS GOING TO SAY NICE VOICE

 

LongAssRide: is this one of Vernon’s weird fantasies

 

Jeffrey: probably 

 

Jeffrey: i bet he has a fan site dedicated to seungkwans ass

 

TYtrack: what the fuck do you and Vernon talk about

 

Moon: are you jealous

 

TYtrack: why would I be jealous

 

Moon: ...honey

 

Moon: i dont know how to tell you this but

 

JohnsBanana: you literally have no ass

 

Winwinie<3: SHOTS FIRED

 

TYtrack: eXCUSE ME

 

Bunny: about time someone told him

 

OsakaPrince: stop my spleen hurts I’m laughing too much

 

JohnsBanana: i bet Jisung has more ass than you

 

TYtrack: LEAVE ME AND MY ASS ALONE YOU FIENDS

 

Fullsun: I’m literally playing Mario cart at the dreamie dorm right now they can see the messages

 

Fullsun: also Chenle says Jisung totally has more ass then you

 

Fullsun: now Jisungs face is all red and jaemin is pinching his cheeks

 

Jeffrey: poor soul

 

Fullsun: anyways hoes mark and i are gonna beach shopping Jisung is too much of a sore loser

 

Fullsun: wanna come with

 

Winwinie<3: yuta and i are going

 

OsakaPrince: we are?

 

Winwinie<3: honey you’ve been wearing the same three sweatshirts for the past 2 months

 

Winwinie<3: you’re being voluntold

 

OsakaPrince: i love it when you talk sweet to me

 

LongAssRide: anyone else?

 

Moon: ew with you four no thanks

 

Moon: you’ll probably make out in the change rooms for a half hour

 

Junguwu: ill ask xuxi and kun

 

* * *

 

Fullsun: help

 

Fullsun: who here speaks fashion

 

Moon: literally only you, johnny and winwin

 

JohnsBanana: bitch you know my name just say it

 

Fullsun: tinted lens or nah?

 

JohnsBanana: tinted

 

Fullsun: kk

 

Fullsun: loose or tight fitting shorts

 

JohnsBanana: honey is that even a question

 

JohnsBanana: clearly tight

 

Fullsun: thanks ur the best

 

JohnsBanana: if you’ve got it flaunt it

 

JohnsBanana: unless you haven’t got it

 

JohnsBanana: cough taeyong 

 

TYtrack: what the fuck?!

 

JohnsBanana: yeah i see you looking in the mirror

 

JohnsBanana: skinny jeans wont help

 

TYtrack: FUCK RIGHT OFF

 

Jeffrey: he just doesn’t know how to let go huh

 

Fullsun: should i get blue tinted or orange tinted?

 

Fullsun: i like orange tinted but blue tinted is on sale 

 

JohnsBanana: sweetie ur still young

 

JohnsBanana: don’t worry about such trivial things like money

 

Bunny: why dont you just ask winwin or mark or something

 

Fullsun: I’m pretty sure winwin and yuta are making out in the change room next to mine

 

JohnsBanana: called it

 

Fullsun: and there are multiple reasons i did not ask mark

 

OsakaPrince: yeah wouldn’t want him to pop a boner in a public area

 

Fullsun: nO

 

Fullsun: GO BACK TO MAKING OUT

 

Winwinie<3: Mark Jungwoo and xuxi went to get food

 

Winwinie<3: i dispatched kun to go find them

 

Jeffrey: bet 10 bucks they lost xuxi

 

Fullsun: i thought they got back already?

 

Fullsun: jungwoo is with me trying on sunglasses

 

Junguwu: ye

 

Junguwu: mark is in the corner eating his huge ass pretzel

 

Winwinie<3: ...

 

Winwinie<3: fuck

 

Jeffrey: pay up motherfuckers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #LetWinwinJoinThe97LineGroupchat #StanVerkwanCowards
> 
> DID YALL SEE NCT ON GMA??? WHAT KINGS I STAN
> 
> Superhuman lowkey sounds like a shinEE song I’m crying in the club
> 
> (May i extend a gracious fuck you to those assholes in NY, you know who I’m talking about)
> 
> I’m also highkey upset that Sicheng isn’t participating like if he’s going to skip 127’s promotions for WAYV’s then why bother having the multiple group system?  
> Renjun and Chenle are Chinese and literally all they’re doing right now is going to suju concerts. miss me with that bullshit about them being too young, mark joined dream at 17.
> 
> That aside the rainbow v projects were a blessing i went on youtube to listen to the ring and portrait remix for lovely and the comment section was full of nctzens uwu i love this fandom
> 
> Question: concepts you want NCT to try?
> 
> Probably something retro like EXIDs lady or day6s days gone by. Or maybe something more upbeat like BAPs feel so good or Block Bs her. Like touch’s wild college brother


End file.
